August 9, 2016

The boys were playing Hide-and-Seek and Keegan was hiding from Kai under my bed. Kai finally found him.
Kai: C'mon. You are going to jail.
Keegan: Why am I going to jail?
Kai: I don't know.
Keegan: You need a backstowy (backstory)!
Kai: You killed someone.
Keegan: I wouldn't do that! .... only for food, though.

Summer 2016

A lot (and I mean A LOT) has changed in my life since my last post. My kids are now 14-1/2, 10, and 8 years old.

 I'm feeling like I need to blog again. I'm thinking I might begin a new blog... it's in the works. Until then, here are some funny things my kids have said this summer:

Me to Sasha (our kitten): Come here, my sweet, deaf kitten. Let me love on you!
Turtle: She's not deaf, Mother. 
Me: Yes, she is.
Turtle: Sasha. Sasha. SASHA! I think you're just calling her by the wrong name. JEFF!

July 30, 2014 1

Keegan: Is "pissy" the p-word?

Me: No. 

Kai: What does "pissy" mean?

Me: Angry with an attitude. 

Keegan: Kai, you are pissy a lot. 

July 30, 2014 2

Kai picked at his butt. 

Me: Do you have to poop, Kai?

Kai: No. My butt's itchy. So is my head sometimes. 

Keegan was laying next to me in bed tonight and I was playing a game on my phone. 

Keegan: How do you know how to play that game?

Me: I used to play it when I was a kid. 

Keegan: But you didn't have a phone. Did you play on your moms phone?

Me: No, it was a board game. 

Keegan: So it was that game but it was on a board?

Me: Well, yes. 

July 2

At tennis, Keegan was supposed to hop on one leg while bouncing the tennis ball on his racket. It was quite entertaining for me.

July 1

I signed Keegan up for tennis camp. He loved it!
Keegan: Momma, I sweated.
Me: You did?
Keegan: Well, not dwipping sweated but I sweated.

Keegan: Momma, will you buy me some tennis cwothes?
Me: We'll see. Let me ask your dad.

Me: Turtle, you wanna go with me to pick up my bike?

Keely: Are the boys going?

Me: No. 

Keely: Sure. Lets go. 

Me: I'm almost done with this book and we can go after I'm done. I need to return the book to Miss Tina. 

Keely: What's it about?

Me: It's about sugar and what it does to your body. 

Keely (eyebrows raised): Well, I don't want to know so shhh. 

Keegan: Momma, do you memba when we went to that westauwant and it was old on the outside but it wasn't?
Kai: I do! Actually, I don't think Mommy was there.
Keegan: Yes she was!
Kai: Keegan, your brain is small and doesn't hold that many memories. I have more memories than you and Mommy has more than me.

Keegan: Is fire weal (real)?

Turtle: If it wasn't, we wouldn't have light. 

Kai: Or s'mores. 

Grandpa: Kai, can you read?

Kai: Yes. 

Grandpa: What does this say?

Kai: "Sweet Corn"

Grandpa: How'd you know that?

Kai: Because I know sweet and I know corn. 

Kai: Mommy, what number is pi?

Me: 3.14

Kai: So, it goes 1, 2, 3, pi, 4, 5, 6, seven-eight-nine-ten?

Me: Yes!

Keegan: 1 pie, 2 pie, 3 pie, 4 pie, 5 pie, 6 pie, 7 pie, 8 pie, 9 pie, 10 pie!

We are still having pooping problems in the house. Keegan had his 2nd pair of dirty underwear so I made him sit on the toilet. After whining and moaning about how much time he was to sit on the toilet, I finally gave him a time.

Keegan: Momma, how much time do I have?
Me: 25 minutes.
(2 minutes later)
Keegan: Momma, how much time now?
Me: 20 minutes.
Keegan: Momma, after 5 is 4.
Keegan: (Starts counting) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. It's 4 now.

On our way to preschool this morning, this came out of the blue...
Keegan: Momma, I blowed that white thang but my wish didn't came true.
Me: What was your wish?
Keegan: I can't tell you. But it didn't came true.
Me: Well, maybe it will.

Keegan's friend, Steven, was over today.

Steven: I'm so hungwy. I want a fwuit woll-up.
Me: Kai? Did you get Steven a fruit roll-up?
Kai: No.
Keegan: I will! I will get Steben a fwuit woll-up!
Steven: I want stwawbewwy.
Keegan (headed up the stairs): I can't wead.

Today, my friend, Linda, picked up Keegan from preschool so he and her son, Steven, could play together. Here is part of a conversation Keegan had with Linda...

Keegan (telling Linda about Yogi Bear Campgrounds in Luray, VA we went to over spring break): We went on a haywide but there was no hay. And they had some waterslides. But Gwama and Gwampa couldn't go because you're not allowed to be naked.
Linda: Why would they be naked?
Keegan: Cause they don't have any swimmy fings (things) like shorts.
Linda: Oh, they don't have any swimsuits?
Keegan: No, they don't have anything wike that.

Linda picked up her phone to text me the conversation.

Keegan: Don't tell my mommy.

I've been getting a lot of "is that real? Is this real" from Keegan lately.

I had told the boys at least 3 times tonight to brush their teeth. I was about to get loud.

Me: Kai? Keegan? Brush your teeth!
Keegan: Momma?
Me: Keegan, brush your teeth NOW.
Keegan: Momma? Are bigfoots weal (real)?
Me: No.

Me: Brush teeth now.

Kai: Can you fly to heaven?
Me: Like in a plane?
Kai: No, on a rocket ship.
Me: No.
Kai: Where is heaven?
Me: It's a spiritual world when you die.
Kai: I don't want you to die.
Me: I won't.
Kai: Actually you will.
Me: Well, hopefully not soon anyway.

After getting dressed, Keegan came down again.

Keegan: Momma, you're pwetty (pretty.) And you smell wike fwowers (like flowers.)
Me: Aww, thank you!
Keegan: You should take a shower. You smell wike a pen.
Me: A pen? You just said I smell like flowers.
Keegan: Actually, you do.

Keegan: Momma, I wove (love) you.
Me: I love you, too.