Keegan's friend, Steven, was over today.

Steven: I'm so hungwy. I want a fwuit woll-up.
Me: Kai? Did you get Steven a fruit roll-up?
Kai: No.
Keegan: I will! I will get Steben a fwuit woll-up!
Steven: I want stwawbewwy.
Keegan (headed up the stairs): I can't wead.

Today, my friend, Linda, picked up Keegan from preschool so he and her son, Steven, could play together. Here is part of a conversation Keegan had with Linda...

Keegan (telling Linda about Yogi Bear Campgrounds in Luray, VA we went to over spring break): We went on a haywide but there was no hay. And they had some waterslides. But Gwama and Gwampa couldn't go because you're not allowed to be naked.
Linda: Why would they be naked?
Keegan: Cause they don't have any swimmy fings (things) like shorts.
Linda: Oh, they don't have any swimsuits?
Keegan: No, they don't have anything wike that.

Linda picked up her phone to text me the conversation.

Keegan: Don't tell my mommy.

I've been getting a lot of "is that real? Is this real" from Keegan lately.

I had told the boys at least 3 times tonight to brush their teeth. I was about to get loud.

Me: Kai? Keegan? Brush your teeth!
Keegan: Momma?
Me: Keegan, brush your teeth NOW.
Keegan: Momma? Are bigfoots weal (real)?
Me: No.

Me: Brush teeth now.

Kai: Can you fly to heaven?
Me: Like in a plane?
Kai: No, on a rocket ship.
Me: No.
Kai: Where is heaven?
Me: It's a spiritual world when you die.
Kai: I don't want you to die.
Me: I won't.
Kai: Actually you will.
Me: Well, hopefully not soon anyway.

After getting dressed, Keegan came down again.

Keegan: Momma, you're pwetty (pretty.) And you smell wike fwowers (like flowers.)
Me: Aww, thank you!
Keegan: You should take a shower. You smell wike a pen.
Me: A pen? You just said I smell like flowers.
Keegan: Actually, you do.

Keegan: Momma, I wove (love) you.
Me: I love you, too.

Keegan came downstairs this morning so I could help him get his pajama top off. He had come to our bed twice last night saying he was scared.

Me: What are you dreaming about at night to get so scared?
Keegan: Monsters. And Ghosts. And Zombies. And eyeballs.
Me: Eyeballs?
Keegan: Gwoss (gross) zombie eyeballs.

I was watching the Jeff Gordon prank video on youtube.com and Bo came downstairs.

Bo: Are you watching the Pepsi prank video?
Me: Yes (laughing at the video)
Me: Does the salesman know it's fake?
Bo: Nobody knows. Everyone thinks it's fake.
Keegan: I'm fake.

Keegan: Momma, can you tell me what you are afwaid of?
Me: Why?
Keegan: I dust wanna know.
Me: Well, I don't like spiders.
Keegan: Are you afwaid of zombies?
Me: You know, zombies aren't real.
Keegan: You can make zombies by killing dem. And if you want to make a ghost, you dust kill dem.
Me: Do you dream about zombies?
Keegan: No, wolf-ez. And wobbers (robbers.) I keep dweaming about bad fings and I think the big bad wolf is gonna come in my woom.
Me:  Why do you keep dreaming about that stuff?
Keegan: I don't know.

I went to MD to shoot a wedding this past weekend with my wedding partner. I got a text from Bo.

Bo: So we are leaving baseball practice today...

Kai: I'm sweaty.
Keegan: I'm sexy and I know it.

A few days ago, Keegan was in my bedroom after I had gotten out of the shower in the morning.

Keegan: Momma, why you have hair?
Me: I told you that when people grow up, hair grows in different places. Some places we shave and some we don't. Like Daddy has hair under his arms but I shave my arm pits.

Later that day, Keegan went to his BFF's house (Steven) to spend a few hours while I ran errands.

Keegan (to Steven's mom, Linda): You know monkeys have really long hair in their armpits? And they scratch them like this.

(Keegan raised his arm and scratched his armpit.)

Keegan continued: You know my mom had long, hairy armpits but she shaved them this morning.

Kai: Momma, Brooklyn picks her nose.
Me: Kai, everyone picks their nose.
Kai: Well, she picks her nose a lot. And she doesn't wash her hands.
Keegan: I pick MY nose. And I don't wash MY hands.
Kai: Keegan, Brooklyn picks her nose and doesn't wash her hands AND the teacher sees her.

The boys came to the top of the basement stairs giggling. After I saw them, I asked if they would come down so I could take a picture. Here's what I captured:

If the glasses look familiar, you might remember this post.

Keegan: Momma, your cheeks are beautiful.
(I was glad he was looking at my face when he said that.)

Keegan: Momma, you want me to tell you why you are white? Want me to tell you?
Me: Sure.
Keegan: Because, Momma, you are just white. That's all. (Shrugs) You are just white, Momma.

Kai: Am I a man, or am I a muppet?
Keegan: Am I a man, or am I a muffet?
Kai: Muh-PIT. PIT.
Keegan: Muff-pit. Muff-pit.

I was at the bus stop when the kids got off today.

Keely: Mommy, don't be mad.

She pulled her folder out of her back pack and I saw that they were school pictures. I wasn't worried because she had prepared me after that day telling me that her hair went "POOF" after recess even though we flat ironed it the night before.

This is what I saw when she turned around her SCHOOL PHOTOS that will be published IN THE YEARBOOK:

I now know that Keegan truly isn't a toddler anymore. I changed my shirt in front of him this morning.

Keegan: Momma, you're fat.
(I made a sad face.)
Keegan: You are so fat, Momma. Why is your tummy so fat?

I won't be changing my shirt in front of him anymore.

I was folding laundry the other day and Keegan was sitting beside me. I got up to pick up some clean clothes that had fallen on the ground.

Keegan: Momma, you have a big butt. A weely, weely big butt.
Me: Yes. Yes, I do.

Turtle and I were on our way home from her field hockey game last night. A couple of quiet moments passed and she said this randomly:

Turtle: You know, sometimes when I get bored I search all over my body for scabs to pick.
Me: Nice.

Keegan: Momma, can I have some gum?
Me: No.
Keegan: Why, Momma?
Me: Because you chew it for 2 seconds and then want to throw it away.
Keegan: No I not, Momma. I chew it for 5 seconds.

On our way back from 7-11 from getting slurpees, Kai told us about Mr. Quiet. 

Kai: Momma, guess who I walked with today? I'll give you 5 guesses.

Me: Uhmmmm... Dylan?

Kai: He's not in my class.

Me: Olivia?

Kai: Nope. She's not in my class either.

Keely was whispering something to me and I only made out "William." Yes, I was cheating.

Me: William?

Kai: There's no William in my class, Momma. You have 2 guesses left.

Keely (whispering louder for her deaf mother): MRS. Williams!

Me: Was it a kid or an adult?

Kai: Actually, it's a hand! Mr. Quiet!

I looked at Keely, who rolled her eyes.

Kai: See, Momma? This is Mr. Quiet!

Kai showed me his hand:

Me: Ooooooh! That's neat, Kai!

Keegan: This is "Punchy!"

I look in my rear view mirror to see Keegan with his hand in a fist making punching movements.

Me (to myself): Mr. Quiet? Meet Mr. Punchy!

I was laying in bed with Kai and Turtle tonight.
Kai: Momma, sometimes I hold my farts and they disappear.

Keegan came down the stairs tonight with new pajamas in his hands (tags still on) and not a stitch of clothing on.

Keegan: Momma, can you help me put my pajamas on?
Me: Yes... are you poopy?
Keegan: No, Daddy cwean me up. I dust naked.

We were at Hollywood Studios in Disney World today. As you can imagine, there were lots of things the kids wanted. Keely saw a man with lighted balloons and wanted one. I asked her to see how much they were. She went right up to the man and came back to report to me.

Keely: The regular ones are 10 dollars and the lighted ones are 15.
Grandpa: How much?
Me: 10 dollars.
Grandpa: For a balloon? That you might lose out to the car?
Keely: I was thinking they should be 1 dollar and 5 dollars.

We spent our first day in Disney at The Magic Kingdom and were headed back to the condo. Kai noticed the palm trees.

Kai: Momma, do you know those trees are Disney trees?
Keely: No, they are Malibu and Hollywood trees.

I finally got up around 1 pm today and was downstairs at my computer when Keegan came down with his clothes for me to help him put on. The boys were told they couldn't play Xbox until they got out of their pajamas.
Keegan: Momma, I was upstairs and I pee in the twashcan.
(Big grin.)
Me: What? You peed in the trashcan? Which one?
Keegan: Upstairs in our woom.
Me: Keegan! We don't pee in trashcans.
Keegan: But Kai was gonna win.

Turtle and I were driving back from breakfast.
Me: Turtle?
Keely: What.
Me: I love you. Don't fight your love for me.
Keely: I'm trying to read! Especially since a golden retriever is talking.

Keegan: I weely want to snore for weel. I want my adenoids back, Momma.
Keely: Okay, we will try to get some from eBay.

Kai has been listening to music with headphones for awhile on our way back to VA.
Kai: Momma, this song had your name in it. It said, "Lora, trust me."
Me: Oh really? That's neat!
After a few minutes, Kai said: Momma, it wasn't your name. It said, "trust me, Lord." I forgot.
Me: Well, Lord and Lora sound a lot alike.

On our drive home from Indiana, Kai said: Mommy, I'm not going to eat tomorrow or the next day or the next day.
Me: Why not?
Kai: Because I want to try not eating for three days.
Keegan: Me, too.

Our conversation one morning while visiting Molly...

Keely: Do you miss Daddy?
Me: Yes, do you?
Keely: Yes, very much. Boys, do you miss Daddy?
Kai: No, I don't remember what he looks like.
Keegan: I don't miss Daddy because he makes me sit on the potty and I don't like that.

Kai: Mommy, how much do you weigh?
Me: Its not polite to ask a girl her weight.
Kai: Do you weigh a thousand?
Me: Uhmmm, no.

My sister and her kids came home from church. Keegan ran into the kitchen to greet her. He came back into the living room.
Keegan: Kai, Aunt Lana is here!
Kai: I know. I can read voice.

Keegan was mixing ketchup and mustard together with his fries.

Keegan: Momma, when I mix ketchup and mustard together, it tastes like mustard and ketchup.

Me: Yep, that sounds about right.

Kai plays this game a lot and I got it on tape this time.

Another conversation in the van yesterday...
Kai: I want our old house back.
Keely: It's too small for the 5 of us.
Keegan: I can fit in dare (there.)

I took Kai and Keegan to Target because Chris gave them a 5 dollar bill and told Kai he could get ONE CAR EACH. Kai went along with it and didn't argue at all, even at the store.

When we got there, they each picked out a moto (motorcycle.)
Me: How many cars did Daddy say you could get?
Kai: Only one.
Me: Well, you have enough for two cars each.
Kai: Okay! Keegan, we can pick another one! Mommy, you are the best mommy!

Kai paid for the cars with the $5 bill and got his change back.
Kai: I can put this in my piggy bank!
Me: Good idea.

We got home and I told Chris that they each got 2 cars.
Chris: I told him to get ONE car each. I didn't have any ones so I gave him a 5.

Kai came running to the stop of the stairs.
Kai: Daddy! Five dollars was enough to get TWO cars!
Chris: Oh, was it?? Oh, Daddy KNOWS.

Yesterday, we were on our way to take Keely to gymnastics and this was the conversation...
Kai: I don't want to go to Indiana.
Me: Everyone else does.
Kai turns to Keegan: Keegan, do you want to go to Indiana?
Keegan: Do they hab pancakes dare (there)?

Kai does work at school sometimes where he listens to someone read a book to him. I'm not sure if it's on headphones or not, but there's a little clipart thingy on the top that suggests that's what it is.

If you recall from my post on March 25th, the last book report had a note from the teacher at the top right that said, "Kai, Next time find a part of the story that you do like, please."

I've posted another book report form for you that I found in his backpack yesterday:

I'd at least give the kid an A for honesty.

So, those of you who know me and my family and the problems we (as in the kids) have with poop... Well, I'm hoping we've made a break-thru.

Kai: Momma, Keegan pooped in his pants and he's on the potty now.
Me: Thank you for letting me know.
Minutes later...
Keegan: MOMMA! I POOOOOOOOOOPED!

I trek upstairs with anxiety in the pit of my stomach in what I might find both in the toilet (usually disappointing results) AND in his underwear (disappointing results also, just in a different way.)

I glance in the toilet and I am elated! That feeling is only short lived as I have yet to check the underwear that lay on the floor in front of his dangling feet. Nope, no poop and hardly a skid mark! WOO-FREAKIN'-HOOOO!

I clean him up and the negotiations begin.

Keegan: Momma, are you pwoud of me?
Me: Oh yes, Keegan! I'm so proud! Good job!
Keegan: Momma, can I hab dis many chocwates?
(He holds up 4 fingers smashed together.)
Me: How about 2?
Keegan: Momma. I poop A WAT (a lot.)
Me: Okay. How many do you want?
(I said that only to see him put up his 4 smashed fingers again.)
Keegan: Dis many.
Me: Okay.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed. If you know me, you also know I'm a hopeless optimist.

I was going through Kai's papers from school last week and came across this. Chris and I found this really funny so I thought I would share it. Recently, Keegan has not been wanting to go to "cool" (school) because he said, "It's bo-wing (boring.)" I have quickly made the connection here.

We took all of the kids and one of Keely's friends to see The Lorax today.
Kai: Mommy, do you know I bite my lip to get the blood? It tastes good.
Me: Don't do that, Kai!
Kai: I bited it! Am I bleeding?

We had chicken for dinner last night.
Kai: (pointing to his chicken wing he was eating) Momma, how do they get the bone in there?
Me: The bone is already in there and the meat grows around it. Like the bone in your arm or leg? They have meat around them. But there are animals without bones... like a worm...
Kai: And a zombie!

The routine with Kai is that he goes poop, he yells, "Momma, I poooooooped!", and I go and wipe him. I went into the bathroom the other day to do my part in the clean up.
Me: Pew! You stink!
Kai: I know, Momma. I can smell it.

Kai has been writing a lot of notes recently, which I have just loved! He tries to phonetically sound out all of the words but seems to get ahead of himself. This is a note he wrote this morning for Nana:

Translation:
To Nana
From Kai
Why do you live in the corner?

This morning I put Keegan on the toilet to get him to poop. He was in the downstairs half bath and he was playing my iPhone to help him relax.
Keely came down from brushing her teeth and came into the tv room where I was drinking coffee and watching Good Morning America.
Keely: Mommy, I think you should know that Keegan is touching his penis and then touching your phone.
Me: I don't care. I just want him to poop while he's on the toilet.
Keely: Okay... I just thought you should know.

I can hear Keely singing in the other room: This is how we do it! This is how we do it!
Then Kai chimes in: This is how we do it! This is how we do it!
Finally, Keegan: This is how us do it! How us do it! How us do it!

Grandpa came down stairs yesterday after getting ready for a super bowl party at a neighbor's house.
Keely: Grandpa, are you wearing chlorine?
Me: What? You mean 'cologne'?
Keely: Oh, that's what it's called?
Grandpa: I'm wearing deodorant.

For some reason (I forget why because I'm getting old), the kids and I were talking about Christopher Columbus in the van on our way to Old Town Buffet.
Keely: If we were alive when Christopher Columbus was alive, we would be wearing really weird clothes.
Kai: My art teacher said Christopher Columbus is dead.
Keegan: Mommy, is Christopher Columbus dead?
Me: Yes.
It was an interesting discussion to say the least.

A Kay Jewelers commercial was on television.
Commercial jingle: Every kiss begins with "K."
Kai: Not "Fish kiss!" (he puckered his lips like a fish.)

Grandmother to Kai: Tell me about your new bus driver you had today.
Keely: She's a mix between Lady Gaga and Katie Perry with a pinch of creepy.

Of course, SOMETHING had to be lost this morning before the kids headed out to the bus stop. This particular time it was Kai's backpack. As we were remembering the last time we saw it (in the wagon with Keegan), the kids were talking out loud.
Keely: Okay... I'm thinking backwards to see if I can remember what we did with it.
Kai: I'm thinking forwards.
Keely: Everyone thinks forward, Kai.

This morning...
Me: (zipping up Kai's coat) Do you want me to walk you to the bus stop this morning?
Kai nodded.
Kai: Mommy, do you have a bra on?
Me: Yes.
Kai: Yay! (pause) Mommy, why do you wear a bra?
Keely: Well, when Mommy was done milking us, she had to wear a bra to protect them. So when Keegan pokes her boobs, they are protected.
Me: (full of sarcasm) Yes. When I was done MILKING you all...

As you have probably gathered from the posts on this blog, my FB posts and my tweets, toilet training is not my forté. Last night, Kai's dad had him on the toilet knowing there was more to come and by not having him sit longer on the toilet would result in poopy underwear.

So, I was watching tv, Bo on his iPad and Keegan was playing his DS. After about 15 minutes, Kai called for his dad, who had forgotten he was in the next room on the toilet.

Kai came out of the bathroom and stopped in front of our bedroom door, clearly not happy.
Kai: Mommy? Daddy made my leg hurt (from sitting on the toilet so long.) And it's his fault.

We are close to putting a lot of 12 mo and 18 mo boys clothes online to sell and Kai found this old costume. He wore it all day yesterday. He also said it still fits.

I went to put away some of Kai's clean clothes in his dresser tonight.
Me: Why does it smell like poop in here?
Kai: I think my farts smell like poop, Momma.

I had just gotten out of the shower and Keegan came into my room looking for his shoes (because Moms ALWAYS know where shoes are.)
Keegan: Momma, why do you hab boo-boos (boobs)?
Me: Because I'm a girl.
Keegan: I don't hab doze (those). I dust hab small ones, (pointing to my boob) one of doze. Small ones.

Kai: Mommy, you should put a elf in our room because Keegan always gets out of bed and goes to KJ's room. So you should put a elf in our room.

Every morning, I wake Kai up, he crawls on my back and I take him downstairs. This morning, he had woken up before I did, came in our room and jumped in our bed. I told him to go to the bathroom, he got on my back and we headed downstairs. We had the following conversation while we headed to the family room.
Kai: Momma, I want to tell you about my dream.
Me: Okay.
Kai: My favorite part was when KJ (Keely) smacked my bottom.
Me: Why did she do that?
Kai: Momma, it was my dream. I can't control my dreams.

Keely and her grandmother were stringing up ornaments that the kids painted to hang on the Christmas tree.
Grandmother: Alright, you didn't tell me how many strings we need. We have 8 strings for 3 sets of ornaments (8 ornaments in each set.)
Keely: Awwwww, can't we do 8 PLUS 3?

Kai and Keegan were coming down the basement steps with their juice boxes headed to play Xbox.
Kai: Boom, chicka boom-boom!
Keegan: Boom, chicka poo-poo!

It rained today. A lot. At 10 am, I had to take Keegan to preschool. He ran to the car (because it's always a race and he had to win) and turned around to yell at me.
Keegan: MOMMY! I NEED A BRELLA!
Me: There's one in the car.
(I opened the sliding door on the van.)
Me: See? There it is.
Keegan: No, dat Kai's!
Me: Well, today it's YOUR umbrella.
Keegan: Mommy, famorrow it Kai's brella?

We were on our way to church for Thanksgiving service tonight.
Kai: Momma, I think we are in tv.
Me: Why?
Kai: Because there is a lot of traffic.
Me: Yes, you might be right.

Keegan: I have a wedgie.
Me: What? How did you get a wedgie?
Kai: No, Momma, he said, "I have a red seat"... on his bike.

Chris announced: Okay, time for dinner. If your name starts with a K, come and get your plate!
Keegan: Cake?

I dropped Kai off at a friends house for a playdate and the boy's mom asked Kai how he liked kindergarten.
Kai: It wastesez my time.

Turtle and I were driving home from hanging out in Falls Church, VA.
Turtle: I just farted. And it smells like corn. Yum!

I took Keely with me to a family photo shoot (Kate and Doug) in Alexandria tonight.
Me: Turtle, guess what Miss Kate's husband does for a living?
Keely: What?
Me (excited): A meteorologist!
Keely (clearly not impressed): Oh.
Me: What? I thought you'd think that was cool!
Keely: I thought you were going to say "fashion designer."
Me: Seriously? If he were a fashion designer, he probably wouldn't have a wife and kids.

Keegan: Mommy, what you making?
Me: Coffee.
Keegan: Why you making coppee?
Me: Because Mommy likes coffee in the morning.
Keegan: I wike apple juice in da morning. And cereal. And popcorn.

We went to Ihop for dinner last week for all you can eat pancakes (which no one ordered.)
Grandmother to Keegan and Kai before we got out of the van: Alright, I don't want to hear "poopie" or "butt" anymore or we are not going in.
Kai yelled: Or "pee-pee"!

Keegan and I were walking down to the bus stop today to pick up Kai and Keely.
Keegan: Mommy, boys hab penis an butts.
Me: What do girls have?
Keegan: Just butts.

Keely was home from school today with a belly ache. She slept most of the morning and around noon, I took her with me to pick up Keegan from preschool.

When Keegan came out of his classroom, he hugged me, then Keely, and then he showed us his artwork.

Keely: Keegan, it's a big nut! You can take it out and feed it to the squirrels!
Keegan: It's not real.

The other day, Kai was playing Xbox and one of the games wouldn't read. This happens often because of dirty, grimy, sticky hands that touch the CDs. He brought the CD to me and I used my breath and my shirt to clean it. I lifted my shirt up (I was laying down on the couch) and my stomach showed.
Kai: I saw your belly button!
(after a long pause) Kai: Mommy, when other mommies see your belly button, does it hurt your feelings when they laugh?
Me: Well, I don't show other mommies my belly button.

I took Keegan to preschool this morning and asked his teachers how his first show-and-tell when yesterday.
Mrs. Nahlik: He did great! We weren't even sure he would get up there, but he did. Then we weren't sure he would say anything, because he doesn't talk much. But he did. Unfortunately, we couldn't understand everything he said.
Me: What?? He doesn't talk your ears off like he does to us at home?

When I went to kiss him goodbye, I told him not to talk any today (teasing, of course.)

Three hours later, I picked him up. We got into the van.
Me: Keegan, did you talk any today?
Keegan: Yeah.
Me: What did you say?
Keegan: I said, "I have go potty."

It was picture day at the elementary school on Thursday, 9/29, and Kai wanted a mohawk.
Kai (as I'm brushing his hair): If you only have hair in the front, it's called a "mo." If you have it in the front and back, it's called a "mohawk."

Keegan learned about Johnny Appleseed this week in preschool.
Me: Who was Johnny Appleseed?
Keegan: Him walk with a bot on him ed. An he dint hab shoes.
Translation: He walked with a pot on his head and he didn't have shoes on.

We have been working on potty training Keegan for several weeks now. He pees in the potty just fine (after I tell him to hit the water) but the pooping part is just not sinking in. He starts going #2 in his pants and then sits himself on the toilet and yells, "MOMMY! I go poop on the potty now!"

Well, I know what THAT means... It means I find poop in his underwear that's sitting between his legs while he is sitting on the toilet. It also means I have to search his legs, back and bottom for smears of poop to clean off with 3 million wipes (because I do everything I can NOT to get poop on my hands.) These past 2 days, I have found him here:

...sitting on the toilet after I've cleaned him, leaned over on the side of the bathtub and snoring. Loudly. I couldn't resist taking a picture but I did think better than to not post it on Facebook. Instead, I'll lead people here to see it. That way, they can scroll down for some more laughs. How thoughtful of me, I know. You're welcome.

Keely lost a tooth today at school. She was talking about it when she and Kai got home from the bus stop.
Kai: Is there a tooth fairy in this town?

We took Keely to her first field hockey practice on Sunday evening. She came off of the field for a water break.
Me: You're doing a great job, Turtle! I don't even think I could do that.
Keely (saying as a matter of factly): You couldn't. You're too old.

Today was the first day of school for two of my kids. I met them at the bus stop to pick them up when they got off the bus.
Me: Hi Kai! How'd it go today?
Kai (in a defeated tone): It didn't go too good. I cried.

We are on our way to the beach.
Keely (to Kai): I'm lucky. I get to sleep with Nana. Wanna switch?

Kai's grandmother brought home a bloomin' onion just before dinner.
Kai: Grandma, next time you get one of these can you get one without the onion?

Keely came home from her friends house and asked for a popsicle. I said sure.
Keely (after plopping down on the couch with her banana split popsicle): What are you doing, chillaxing with a cup of wine and your phone?
Me: That's exactly what I'm doing.
... and I turned my attention back to Despicable Me.

Kai said the prayer at dinner last night:
Dear God,
Thank you for the family. Thank you for the food. I love Mommy, Daddy, Grandma... (he says this as he looks around the table.) Keegan is really funny. Amen.

Kai: Is it my birthday tomorrow?
Me: No, you have 7 days until your birthday.
Keegan: Is my birfday coming up?
Me: No, you have about 36 days until your birthday.
Kai: Keegan, that means you're longer.
Keegan: Yeah, I longer.

Bo bought some gummy lifesavers for the kids last night. I heard Keely talking to Kai.
Keely: They are called lifesavers because if you choke on them, there's a hole so you can still breathe.

Kai came downstairs crying.
Me: Why are you crying?
Kai: Daddy won't let me play his big white phone. (iPad)

I am trying to potty train Keegan before his school begins (Sept 11) or he won't be able to go.
Me (to Keegan): Look at me. These are big boy pull ups for big boys. If you have to go pee pee, where do you go?
Keegan: In the bafroom
Me: If you have to go poop, where do you go?
Keegan: In my butt.

Kai (standing up randomly from watching tv): Keegan, wanna see my butt cheek?
Me: Keegan does not want to see your butt cheek. Put that away.
Kai (now pointing to his butt cheek which was hanging out of his pull up): This is my butt cheek, Keegan.
Keegan: Oh.

Keely (on our way home from the Maryland Orioles game): Mommy, how old were you when you got your pads?
Me: What do you mean?
Keely: The pads  that you put in your underwear.
(Keely was way in the back of the van, Bo was driving and I was in the front passenger seat, so it was safe to laugh without her seeing us.)
Me: Oh, I don't know... 8th grade?
Keely: How OLD were you?
Me: 13? 12?

Kai went poop in the potty.
Me: Do you have more?
Kai: No. It was stuck to my bottom but I wiggled so it would come off.

I found a book in the house that I'd never seen before.
Me: Where did we get this book? Is it a library book?
Kai: No, it was already living at our house, Momma. But we was never gonna read it.

While in Indiana for 2 weeks, we met and visited with an old elementary school friend of mine who has 2 kids the same ages as Keely and Kai. Her daughter (9 yrs old and only 4 days younger than Keely) is a true Albino and is legally blind in both eyes. She and Keely had a great time together and became fast friends. When we said our goodbyes and got in the van.
Keely: Mommy, even though McKenzie's eyes have ruined her life, she's still really cool!

We've been traveling a lot and I haven't had much chance to post what my kids have been saying. Here are some "catch up" quotes...

(a few months ago) Kai: Mommy, can you get me my DS?
(We were in the car and it had fallen in front of him but behind me.)
Me: I can't reach it. Wait until I stop.
Kai: Mommy, you can't reach it because you don't have Lego arms.

I was sending my mother an email so Kai and Keely had me type something, too. I typed exactly what they said to me.

Kai said:
Will you spell to Nana 'This is a McDonald's hat and me and Keegan are wearing it.' Can you spell that to her? And 'Good night, Nana, and I love you, too.' And I want you to say 'I had a great day and I never tooked a bath but today I am.'

Keely said:
Today me and my girl scout troop went to the senior center and they were having a 'Senior Prom' for all of the seniors. And we gave cookies, sang songs and gave cards to the seniors. One lady reminded me of you. I can't wait to see you at the summer house. I love you. Good night!
P.S. The seniors were old people.

Kai said (again):
My last word is I love you and, uh, and I got 1 dinosaur. When I poop in the potty or I pee in the potty or I stay clean, then I get a dinosaur. And I want you to have a good night and BYE BYE!

I was playing Go Fish with Kai and Keegan this morning.
Me: Kai, do you have an 8?
Kai hands me a 6.
Me: No, that's a 6.
Kai: Mommy, does an 8 have 2 heads?
Me: Well.... yes, it has 2 stacked heads.

Funny, I never thought of that.