I found this list today. It was written by Turtle. I asked her tonight about number 24 because she has Justin Beiber all over her bedroom walls. She said, "Oh, Victoria made me put that. She doesn't like Justin Beiber. I act like I don't like him because all of the girls at school don't like him."

Keely came home from school today all frantic telling me I needed to email her teacher about a "mean substitute" her class had today. I did email her teacher (as her story included the substitute throwing a colored pencil at another student which hit him just above the eye) and after the email sent, Keely said, "That's cool! I hope I get gmail when I get older."

Keely said to me last night:
Mommy, I am 50% white and 59% African American.

Kai and Keegan were playing in the living room with their cars all over every place.
Kai: I farted.
Me: (giggling in the next room just listening to him because kids farting is almost always funny)
Kai: (to Keegan) Move, Keegan. Get out of my fart. I don't want you in my fart.

Kai got up this morning and came downstairs.
Kai: Mommy! I thought you wasn't down here.
Me: Well, I wasn't... I just came inside from running.
Kai: I'm really hungry and t.v.-ly. T.v.-ly means I want to watch t.v.

For my first 5K that I ran, it was a turkey trot in DC. Chris, Keely, Kai and Chris' dad went to the race with me. After we'd finished, we took a picture with a big turkey that was there at the finish line. Chris and I were talking about the 5K race I ran this past Sunday morning.
Kai: Was the rooster there?
(It took me a second to understand what he was talking about then I realized he was remembering the turkey trot I ran on Thanksgiving.)
Kai: Was this there? (he made a fist with his right hand, stuck his thumb out and put fist flat against his left palm which had all five fingers spread wide - he was making a turkey with his hands!)

As we took Keely to a birthday party on Sunday (a laser tag party), she asked me if she could play with my phone (apparently, I have better games than Daddy does.)
Me: No, we are almost there. We have 2.5 miles to go. I think you can wait.
Chris: You should be strategizing about how to kill people.

Chris and I were out with the boys while Keely was at a birthday party on Sunday. We were all kind of hungry so we stopped at McDonald's. I told Chris to just get the boys happy meals but, of course, he didn't get them. He got the 20 nuggets for $4.99 and he got me a diet Coke. Kai and Keegan were upset because they wanted french fries and chocolate milk. Keegan calls french fries "beach byes."
Kai (still upset that he didn't get what he wanted): I don't want chicken nuggets all alone. My tummy won't like it.

I can't believe it's been almost a month since I've posted something here. You'd think my kids were in a dry spell of humor... but for this long? A lot of their humor isn't verbal but the faces they make, the dances they do and even when they wrestle each other making noises like they are in the fight of their lives. So fun to watch!

So, several of these next posts came from this past weekend where Keely had 2 birthday parties to go to and a Brownie function at a bowling alley.



As we were driving Keely to her 2nd birthday party on Sunday, we passed by a middle school that has a huge hill. Last year when we had a lot of snow (waaaay more than this year), we went sledding on that hill. Well, Kai noticed the hill.
Kai: That's where we slide our sleds!


A couple of days before the weekend, I was helping Kai in the bathroom after he'd pooped. When he goes, I'll hear him call for me.
Kai: MOOOOOMMYYYYYYY, I POOOOOOOPED!
(I yell back that I'm coming.)
I bend him forward while he sits on the toilet so I can wipe him and tell him he's my super-duper-pooper.
Kai: You have big legs. And big feet. And a big, big butt.

The kids and I were out for awhile just the 4 of us today. On our way home from Target, Kai (he's my most affectionate and lovey dovey child) said: Mommy, I love you all night and all day.
Me: You do?
Kai: Uh huh.

Kai: But I don't love you on Wednesdays.
 
Keely and I busted out laughing.

Kai was doing a pee-pee dance so I told him to go potty.

Kai: Mommy, my penis was stuck to my underwear.
Me: Why?
Kai: Because it was sticky.

Kai: Mommy, is "golly polly" a good word or a bad word?
Me: It's a good word. Where did you hear that?
Kai: No where. My heart said that to me.

Kai comes running into the dining room. He and Keegan are pretending.
Kai: Mommy, I sure love you but that bomb is going to blow up. But you are the only guys who don't get blowed up. So, I love you. Here, Mommy, have my juice. And I love you.

Kai: Mommy, no time for this. I need this.
(He grabs 2 tissues.)
Kai: Stink bug on the kitchen floor.
(He runs into the kitchen and comes back almost immediately.)
Kai: Mommy, if you see one of these, a tissue, and my tissue is laying that way and Keegan's tissue is laying this way, scoop it up and throw it away. It's a stink bug. I'm too scared.
(He runs off to tell Daddy who picks up the tissue w/stink bug in it and throws it away.)
Kai and Keegan: Yaaaaay! Yay! (cheering and jumping)

We were late for preschool (again)... I had a teacher's conference with Kai's teacher AND I had to run thru McDonald's drive thru to get a chocolate milk for his lunch.

Kai: Is that Silas (a boy in his class) in front of us?
(He was remembering last week when we were in Wendy's drive thru and Silas and his grandmother were in the car ahead of us.)
Me: No.
Kai: Is that Silas in front of the car in front of us?
Me: No.
Kai: Then who ARE those people?

Kai was fighting bad guys in the living room for about 20 minutes with Keegan. It was pretty dramatic and action-packed entertainment. I was thinking, I should be taping this.... but I didn't think I would get away with it.

Kai: Keegan, when I kill you, you're dead.

On our way home from Kai's preschool, Keegan was dancing in his carseat to some music.
Kai: Look, Mommy! Watch me!
(Kai was dancing in his chair, too)
Kai: Let's see your moves, Mommy!
(I shook my shoulders and moved my arms since I was at a stoplight.)
Kai: Funky.

Kai came running into the dining room where I was.
Kai: At school, my teacher had some new things.
Me: What kinds of new things?
Kai shrugged and walked away.

I was listening to The Outfield on my iPhone and Kai came into the room.
Kai: I like this song. I don't know it. But I love it.

Kai was laying on Keegan while watching Dora the Explorer and he said, "Mommy, thank you for my new pillow (Keegan.) I love my new pillow!"