After getting dressed, Keegan came down again.

Keegan: Momma, you're pwetty (pretty.) And you smell wike fwowers (like flowers.)
Me: Aww, thank you!
Keegan: You should take a shower. You smell wike a pen.
Me: A pen? You just said I smell like flowers.
Keegan: Actually, you do.

Keegan: Momma, I wove (love) you.
Me: I love you, too.

Keegan came downstairs this morning so I could help him get his pajama top off. He had come to our bed twice last night saying he was scared.

Me: What are you dreaming about at night to get so scared?
Keegan: Monsters. And Ghosts. And Zombies. And eyeballs.
Me: Eyeballs?
Keegan: Gwoss (gross) zombie eyeballs.

I was watching the Jeff Gordon prank video on youtube.com and Bo came downstairs.

Bo: Are you watching the Pepsi prank video?
Me: Yes (laughing at the video)
Me: Does the salesman know it's fake?
Bo: Nobody knows. Everyone thinks it's fake.
Keegan: I'm fake.

Keegan: Momma, can you tell me what you are afwaid of?
Me: Why?
Keegan: I dust wanna know.
Me: Well, I don't like spiders.
Keegan: Are you afwaid of zombies?
Me: You know, zombies aren't real.
Keegan: You can make zombies by killing dem. And if you want to make a ghost, you dust kill dem.
Me: Do you dream about zombies?
Keegan: No, wolf-ez. And wobbers (robbers.) I keep dweaming about bad fings and I think the big bad wolf is gonna come in my woom.
Me:  Why do you keep dreaming about that stuff?
Keegan: I don't know.

I went to MD to shoot a wedding this past weekend with my wedding partner. I got a text from Bo.

Bo: So we are leaving baseball practice today...

Kai: I'm sweaty.
Keegan: I'm sexy and I know it.

A few days ago, Keegan was in my bedroom after I had gotten out of the shower in the morning.

Keegan: Momma, why you have hair?
Me: I told you that when people grow up, hair grows in different places. Some places we shave and some we don't. Like Daddy has hair under his arms but I shave my arm pits.

Later that day, Keegan went to his BFF's house (Steven) to spend a few hours while I ran errands.

Keegan (to Steven's mom, Linda): You know monkeys have really long hair in their armpits? And they scratch them like this.

(Keegan raised his arm and scratched his armpit.)

Keegan continued: You know my mom had long, hairy armpits but she shaved them this morning.

Kai: Momma, Brooklyn picks her nose.
Me: Kai, everyone picks their nose.
Kai: Well, she picks her nose a lot. And she doesn't wash her hands.
Keegan: I pick MY nose. And I don't wash MY hands.
Kai: Keegan, Brooklyn picks her nose and doesn't wash her hands AND the teacher sees her.

The boys came to the top of the basement stairs giggling. After I saw them, I asked if they would come down so I could take a picture. Here's what I captured:

If the glasses look familiar, you might remember this post.

Keegan: Momma, your cheeks are beautiful.
(I was glad he was looking at my face when he said that.)

Keegan: Momma, you want me to tell you why you are white? Want me to tell you?
Me: Sure.
Keegan: Because, Momma, you are just white. That's all. (Shrugs) You are just white, Momma.

Kai: Am I a man, or am I a muppet?
Keegan: Am I a man, or am I a muffet?
Kai: Muh-PIT. PIT.
Keegan: Muff-pit. Muff-pit.

I was at the bus stop when the kids got off today.

Keely: Mommy, don't be mad.

She pulled her folder out of her back pack and I saw that they were school pictures. I wasn't worried because she had prepared me after that day telling me that her hair went "POOF" after recess even though we flat ironed it the night before.

This is what I saw when she turned around her SCHOOL PHOTOS that will be published IN THE YEARBOOK:

I now know that Keegan truly isn't a toddler anymore. I changed my shirt in front of him this morning.

Keegan: Momma, you're fat.
(I made a sad face.)
Keegan: You are so fat, Momma. Why is your tummy so fat?

I won't be changing my shirt in front of him anymore.

I was folding laundry the other day and Keegan was sitting beside me. I got up to pick up some clean clothes that had fallen on the ground.

Keegan: Momma, you have a big butt. A weely, weely big butt.
Me: Yes. Yes, I do.

Turtle and I were on our way home from her field hockey game last night. A couple of quiet moments passed and she said this randomly:

Turtle: You know, sometimes when I get bored I search all over my body for scabs to pick.
Me: Nice.

Keegan: Momma, can I have some gum?
Me: No.
Keegan: Why, Momma?
Me: Because you chew it for 2 seconds and then want to throw it away.
Keegan: No I not, Momma. I chew it for 5 seconds.

On our way back from 7-11 from getting slurpees, Kai told us about Mr. Quiet. 

Kai: Momma, guess who I walked with today? I'll give you 5 guesses.

Me: Uhmmmm... Dylan?

Kai: He's not in my class.

Me: Olivia?

Kai: Nope. She's not in my class either.

Keely was whispering something to me and I only made out "William." Yes, I was cheating.

Me: William?

Kai: There's no William in my class, Momma. You have 2 guesses left.

Keely (whispering louder for her deaf mother): MRS. Williams!

Me: Was it a kid or an adult?

Kai: Actually, it's a hand! Mr. Quiet!

I looked at Keely, who rolled her eyes.

Kai: See, Momma? This is Mr. Quiet!

Kai showed me his hand:

Me: Ooooooh! That's neat, Kai!

Keegan: This is "Punchy!"

I look in my rear view mirror to see Keegan with his hand in a fist making punching movements.

Me (to myself): Mr. Quiet? Meet Mr. Punchy!

I was laying in bed with Kai and Turtle tonight.
Kai: Momma, sometimes I hold my farts and they disappear.

Keegan came down the stairs tonight with new pajamas in his hands (tags still on) and not a stitch of clothing on.

Keegan: Momma, can you help me put my pajamas on?
Me: Yes... are you poopy?
Keegan: No, Daddy cwean me up. I dust naked.

We were at Hollywood Studios in Disney World today. As you can imagine, there were lots of things the kids wanted. Keely saw a man with lighted balloons and wanted one. I asked her to see how much they were. She went right up to the man and came back to report to me.

Keely: The regular ones are 10 dollars and the lighted ones are 15.
Grandpa: How much?
Me: 10 dollars.
Grandpa: For a balloon? That you might lose out to the car?
Keely: I was thinking they should be 1 dollar and 5 dollars.