July 2

At tennis, Keegan was supposed to hop on one leg while bouncing the tennis ball on his racket. It was quite entertaining for me.

July 1

I signed Keegan up for tennis camp. He loved it!
Keegan: Momma, I sweated.
Me: You did?
Keegan: Well, not dwipping sweated but I sweated.

Keegan: Momma, will you buy me some tennis cwothes?
Me: We'll see. Let me ask your dad.

Me: Turtle, you wanna go with me to pick up my bike?

Keely: Are the boys going?

Me: No. 

Keely: Sure. Lets go. 

Me: I'm almost done with this book and we can go after I'm done. I need to return the book to Miss Tina. 

Keely: What's it about?

Me: It's about sugar and what it does to your body. 

Keely (eyebrows raised): Well, I don't want to know so shhh. 

Keegan: Momma, do you memba when we went to that westauwant and it was old on the outside but it wasn't?
Kai: I do! Actually, I don't think Mommy was there.
Keegan: Yes she was!
Kai: Keegan, your brain is small and doesn't hold that many memories. I have more memories than you and Mommy has more than me.

Keegan: Is fire weal (real)?

Turtle: If it wasn't, we wouldn't have light. 

Kai: Or s'mores. 

Grandpa: Kai, can you read?

Kai: Yes. 

Grandpa: What does this say?

Kai: "Sweet Corn"

Grandpa: How'd you know that?

Kai: Because I know sweet and I know corn. 

Kai: Mommy, what number is pi?

Me: 3.14

Kai: So, it goes 1, 2, 3, pi, 4, 5, 6, seven-eight-nine-ten?

Me: Yes!

Keegan: 1 pie, 2 pie, 3 pie, 4 pie, 5 pie, 6 pie, 7 pie, 8 pie, 9 pie, 10 pie!

We are still having pooping problems in the house. Keegan had his 2nd pair of dirty underwear so I made him sit on the toilet. After whining and moaning about how much time he was to sit on the toilet, I finally gave him a time.

Keegan: Momma, how much time do I have?
Me: 25 minutes.
(2 minutes later)
Keegan: Momma, how much time now?
Me: 20 minutes.
Keegan: Momma, after 5 is 4.
Keegan: (Starts counting) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. It's 4 now.

On our way to preschool this morning, this came out of the blue...
Keegan: Momma, I blowed that white thang but my wish didn't came true.
Me: What was your wish?
Keegan: I can't tell you. But it didn't came true.
Me: Well, maybe it will.

Keegan's friend, Steven, was over today.

Steven: I'm so hungwy. I want a fwuit woll-up.
Me: Kai? Did you get Steven a fruit roll-up?
Kai: No.
Keegan: I will! I will get Steben a fwuit woll-up!
Steven: I want stwawbewwy.
Keegan (headed up the stairs): I can't wead.

Today, my friend, Linda, picked up Keegan from preschool so he and her son, Steven, could play together. Here is part of a conversation Keegan had with Linda...

Keegan (telling Linda about Yogi Bear Campgrounds in Luray, VA we went to over spring break): We went on a haywide but there was no hay. And they had some waterslides. But Gwama and Gwampa couldn't go because you're not allowed to be naked.
Linda: Why would they be naked?
Keegan: Cause they don't have any swimmy fings (things) like shorts.
Linda: Oh, they don't have any swimsuits?
Keegan: No, they don't have anything wike that.

Linda picked up her phone to text me the conversation.

Keegan: Don't tell my mommy.

I've been getting a lot of "is that real? Is this real" from Keegan lately.

I had told the boys at least 3 times tonight to brush their teeth. I was about to get loud.

Me: Kai? Keegan? Brush your teeth!
Keegan: Momma?
Me: Keegan, brush your teeth NOW.
Keegan: Momma? Are bigfoots weal (real)?
Me: No.

Me: Brush teeth now.

Kai: Can you fly to heaven?
Me: Like in a plane?
Kai: No, on a rocket ship.
Me: No.
Kai: Where is heaven?
Me: It's a spiritual world when you die.
Kai: I don't want you to die.
Me: I won't.
Kai: Actually you will.
Me: Well, hopefully not soon anyway.

After getting dressed, Keegan came down again.

Keegan: Momma, you're pwetty (pretty.) And you smell wike fwowers (like flowers.)
Me: Aww, thank you!
Keegan: You should take a shower. You smell wike a pen.
Me: A pen? You just said I smell like flowers.
Keegan: Actually, you do.

Keegan: Momma, I wove (love) you.
Me: I love you, too.

Keegan came downstairs this morning so I could help him get his pajama top off. He had come to our bed twice last night saying he was scared.

Me: What are you dreaming about at night to get so scared?
Keegan: Monsters. And Ghosts. And Zombies. And eyeballs.
Me: Eyeballs?
Keegan: Gwoss (gross) zombie eyeballs.

I was watching the Jeff Gordon prank video on youtube.com and Bo came downstairs.

Bo: Are you watching the Pepsi prank video?
Me: Yes (laughing at the video)
Me: Does the salesman know it's fake?
Bo: Nobody knows. Everyone thinks it's fake.
Keegan: I'm fake.

Keegan: Momma, can you tell me what you are afwaid of?
Me: Why?
Keegan: I dust wanna know.
Me: Well, I don't like spiders.
Keegan: Are you afwaid of zombies?
Me: You know, zombies aren't real.
Keegan: You can make zombies by killing dem. And if you want to make a ghost, you dust kill dem.
Me: Do you dream about zombies?
Keegan: No, wolf-ez. And wobbers (robbers.) I keep dweaming about bad fings and I think the big bad wolf is gonna come in my woom.
Me:  Why do you keep dreaming about that stuff?
Keegan: I don't know.

I went to MD to shoot a wedding this past weekend with my wedding partner. I got a text from Bo.

Bo: So we are leaving baseball practice today...

Kai: I'm sweaty.
Keegan: I'm sexy and I know it.

A few days ago, Keegan was in my bedroom after I had gotten out of the shower in the morning.

Keegan: Momma, why you have hair?
Me: I told you that when people grow up, hair grows in different places. Some places we shave and some we don't. Like Daddy has hair under his arms but I shave my arm pits.

Later that day, Keegan went to his BFF's house (Steven) to spend a few hours while I ran errands.

Keegan (to Steven's mom, Linda): You know monkeys have really long hair in their armpits? And they scratch them like this.

(Keegan raised his arm and scratched his armpit.)

Keegan continued: You know my mom had long, hairy armpits but she shaved them this morning.