I made virgin piña coladas for snack tonight.
Bo: Does this have coconut in it?
Me: It's piña colada.
Bo: Did you use Bacardi?
Me (enter sarcasm here): Yes, piña colada and Bacardi... for the kids.
Kai: What? Piña colada and party?

Kai and Keegan were watching Dora.
Dora: Will YOU help me find the hula hoop?
(The arrow pointed to something that was not the hula hoop. Kai and Keegan were up at the tv.)
Kai (with his finger on the hula hoop on the screen): Sorry, we already found the hula hoop. Mommy, why does her need our help?

Kai: Whoa! Mommy, you HAVE to cut this up!
(Kai handed me a slice of apple.)
Me: I'll just eat it.
Kai: Because you have a big mouth?
Me: Yes.
Kai: I don't. I have a small mouth.

Keely had a friend over tonight for dinner.

Victoria: Mrs. Buchanan, why do you have "Lora Mote" on your facebook page?
Me: That's my name.
Victoria: I thought your name was Buchanan because his name is Buchanan.
Me: Nope. We aren't married.
Victoria: Then how do you have kids together?
(I was thinking it wasn't appropriate to tell her about the birds and the bees. That's her parents job.)
Me: Well, you don't HAVE to be married to have kids. We are "new age" like that.