Keegan: Momma, can I have some gum?
Me: No.
Keegan: Why, Momma?
Me: Because you chew it for 2 seconds and then want to throw it away.
Keegan: No I not, Momma. I chew it for 5 seconds.

On our way back from 7-11 from getting slurpees, Kai told us about Mr. Quiet. 

Kai: Momma, guess who I walked with today? I'll give you 5 guesses.

Me: Uhmmmm... Dylan?

Kai: He's not in my class.

Me: Olivia?

Kai: Nope. She's not in my class either.

Keely was whispering something to me and I only made out "William." Yes, I was cheating.

Me: William?

Kai: There's no William in my class, Momma. You have 2 guesses left.

Keely (whispering louder for her deaf mother): MRS. Williams!

Me: Was it a kid or an adult?

Kai: Actually, it's a hand! Mr. Quiet!

I looked at Keely, who rolled her eyes.

Kai: See, Momma? This is Mr. Quiet!

Kai showed me his hand:

Me: Ooooooh! That's neat, Kai!

Keegan: This is "Punchy!"

I look in my rear view mirror to see Keegan with his hand in a fist making punching movements.

Me (to myself): Mr. Quiet? Meet Mr. Punchy!

I was laying in bed with Kai and Turtle tonight.
Kai: Momma, sometimes I hold my farts and they disappear.