The routine with Kai is that he goes poop, he yells, "Momma, I poooooooped!", and I go and wipe him. I went into the bathroom the other day to do my part in the clean up.
Me: Pew! You stink!
Kai: I know, Momma. I can smell it.

Kai has been writing a lot of notes recently, which I have just loved! He tries to phonetically sound out all of the words but seems to get ahead of himself. This is a note he wrote this morning for Nana:

Translation:
To Nana
From Kai
Why do you live in the corner?

This morning I put Keegan on the toilet to get him to poop. He was in the downstairs half bath and he was playing my iPhone to help him relax.
Keely came down from brushing her teeth and came into the tv room where I was drinking coffee and watching Good Morning America.
Keely: Mommy, I think you should know that Keegan is touching his penis and then touching your phone.
Me: I don't care. I just want him to poop while he's on the toilet.
Keely: Okay... I just thought you should know.

I can hear Keely singing in the other room: This is how we do it! This is how we do it!
Then Kai chimes in: This is how we do it! This is how we do it!
Finally, Keegan: This is how us do it! How us do it! How us do it!

Grandpa came down stairs yesterday after getting ready for a super bowl party at a neighbor's house.
Keely: Grandpa, are you wearing chlorine?
Me: What? You mean 'cologne'?
Keely: Oh, that's what it's called?
Grandpa: I'm wearing deodorant.

For some reason (I forget why because I'm getting old), the kids and I were talking about Christopher Columbus in the van on our way to Old Town Buffet.
Keely: If we were alive when Christopher Columbus was alive, we would be wearing really weird clothes.
Kai: My art teacher said Christopher Columbus is dead.
Keegan: Mommy, is Christopher Columbus dead?
Me: Yes.
It was an interesting discussion to say the least.

A Kay Jewelers commercial was on television.
Commercial jingle: Every kiss begins with "K."
Kai: Not "Fish kiss!" (he puckered his lips like a fish.)